Black-Libyans, Syrian-Christians & Afro-Cubans

There is an important aspect of authoritarian regimes that's often left unstated, and that is that they often do a good job of keeping racial/religious/linguistic tensions under wraps. In my own personal experience, I've found Libyans to be the most vulgar racists amongst all Arabs, and yet under Col. Gaddafi's regime, this primitive racism was kept under wraps. Now, with the probable demise of the Gaddafi regime, we're seeing Blacks (native Black-Libyans, as well as Sub-Saharan Africans) being massacred on the streets of Tripoli and Benghazi.

In the same vein, The Christians of Syria enjoy a level of peace and security that would be impossible in any other Arab/Islamic State (with the exception of Lebanon). They must be praying for the continued survival of the Assad regime, however sinister it may be. Regime-change in Syria would probably lead to the mass-migration of Syria's Christians and the demise of that country's ancient, Christian community.

Finally, I bring you to Cuba, which probaby has the best race-relations in all of Latin-America & where Afro-Cubans enjoy the kind of socio-economic progress that has been denied to Afro-Brazilians, for example. What would happen to race-relations in Cuba if Cuban Communism was to be replaced by full-blooded American Capitalism? Cuba's whites (and almost-whites) would probably pitch their tent with the other whites of North America, blatant racism would return with a bang, and all of Cuba's gains in public-health and education would be thrown out the window.

Arab Joke

OK, we have too many problems on this planet, and so it's time for some gallows humour (Jews are the best at this macabre genre). We've got hurricanes and Arab revolutions and Lord-knows-what's-next, so a joke is needed to lighten our load. This is a joke I was told by a Somali friend, way back in College. There are many versions of this joke & you might have heard it already, but it does deserve a re-telling. Here it is:

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Anwar Sadat , Hafez Assad & Muammar Gadhafi are sitting in an underground bunker drinking coffee. Anwar Sadat states that he's just won 90% of the vote in the Egyptian elections. "90%!" blurts out Col. Gadhafi. "What an idiot you are!". He then goes on to add, "Look at our dear brother Hafez over here. He recently won 99.99% of the vote in the Syrian elections. Now here's a smart ruler!" Immediately, Hafez Assad springs to his feet, shaking, in a blind rage. "99.99% of the vote? This is untenable!", he exclaims (waving his finger in the air to punctuate his remarks). He then beckons the head of the Syrian Secret Police, and grunts, "Find me the lone bastard who didn't vote for me!"

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P.S. Anwar Sadat was Egypt's President from 1970-1981 (replaced by Mohamed Hosni Mubarak).

Hafez Assad served as Syria's President from 1971-2000 (replaced, or relieved, by his son Bashar Assad).

R.I.P Rex Nhongo

Late last night I learnt with shock and horror of the untimely death of Gen Solomon Mujuru. He was the 1st commander of Zimbabwe's integrated Armed Forces after independence in 1980, and helped integrate the then separate Rhodesian, Zanla and Zapu elements into a unified force. I was a young lad in England in 1979, when I first saw  "Rex Nhongo" (as he was then named) on British TV. It was the Christmas holidays and all of us, family and friends, were crowded around the TV to watch the triumphant return of the first batch of Zanla and Zipra commanders to return home. I was expecting to see the tall and bearded Josiah Tongogara, but alas, he was never to make it. In his place strolled the smiling Rex Nhongo at the head of the Zanla contingent.

I would later have the pleasure of meeting him on several occasions in the late 80s and mid 90s. He was very humble, didn't talk much, and when he did talk, he talked with a pronounced lisp. He was not the stereotypical soldier that immediately comes to mind. He was also a good drinker and loved his scotch. He hailed from Chikomba (my home district) and after retiring from the army, served as our Member of Parliament from 1994  to 2000.

True, he had his faults, but in the main, he was good man. Sabre-rattling was never his thing; he always respected the civilian politicians in power, and he knew his limits. With only a limited education, he had graduated from the school of hard-knocks and the university of life, rather than from any academic institutions. He was a true Zimbabwean hero, and a gallant freedom-fighter. May his soul forever rest in peace. Gamba redu: mufambe zvakanaka.

DSK & The African Hotel-Maid

I just read the Newsweek expose on the DSK hotel-maid case. It got me thinking: this woman is a from a conservative, Muslim, African (Fulani) culture. To her relatives, clans-people and even countrymen, she's already guilty just by working as a hotel-maid, cleaning the rooms of strange-men (in a foreign-land). We might order take-out sushi and carry smart-phones, but we Africans are still essentially the products of very conservative cultures. And this kind of conservative thinking still holds sway.

I came of age in Harare's suburbs in the 80s. Zimbabwe's post-independence elite aped the (departed) Rhodesian colonialists down to the "T". So we had a gardener, who lived in the "Boy's Kaya" (servant's quarters), and yet none of the female members of the household would even dare enter, or even come close to, our gardener's room. It was not the done thing for women of the house to be inside (or near) a strange-man's room -- even if he was the gardener who worked for us and interacted with us daily. My point is that social mores in Zimbabwe & other African countries are still extremely conservative. In Zimbabwe -- even in this day and age -- any woman who works as a waitress, (or in any other service industry where she must serve strange-men) is seen as being off loose morals.

So, put yourself in the shoes of the hotel-maid in the DSK case. Her life will never be the same; her relatives probably already see her as a "whore"; and her children will face the stigma of being the "sons-of-a-whore". In the traditionally conservative milieu from which she hails, she will forever be looked upon with a jaundiced eye. I really feel for her. It's so sad.

Ignorance Is Bliss

Quick question: name Ghana's military head? Now, quickly: who's in charge of Zimbabwe's military? Most people -- even those who are only vaguely familiar with Zimbabwe's politics -- have heard of our military head, but no-one knows who is in charge of Ghana's military, and no-one cares either. That's how it's supposed to be. Most Pan-Africanists are very familiar with the names Kotoka, Ankrah and Afrifa, since these fellows were on the scene when the Ghanaian military had their military boots on the collective necks of the Ghanaian people. But, that's all in the past now; the military has withdrawn to the barracks. Don't even bother googling the name of Ghana's military head -- that's an exercise in futility.

When will we Zimbabweans be afforded the luxury of our Ghanaian brothers, of being blissfully unaware and not even caring who our top military leaders are? When? Right now, the Zimbabwean military literally have us by the b***s. This is a very painful and unbearable situation. The sooner it ends the better. Only highly-skilled, highly-educated technocrats can take Zimbabwe (and Africa) forward. The military belongs in the barracks.

Disney-Land, South Sudan

Earlier on the week, my mind was running through possible scenarios for Africa's newest nation of South Sudan. One of the possible outcomes I imagined was for South Sudan -- within a short space of time -- to become a hellish, Banana Republic, bang in the middle of tropical Africa. This Banana Republic would also come complete with a shortage of bananas.

South Sudan would thus become a "reverse Disney-Land", a hellish "paradise" for NGOs, chancers, crooks, con-artists, and all sorts of fly-by-night "Africa Experts". For these unsavoury characters, South Sudan will be the ultimate "catch", a dream-date so to speak. Once ensconced in their Juba luxury with SUVs, servants, and gated villas, this flotsam-jetsam of mediocrity --the scum of the Earth -- will fight tooth and nail to make sure that South Sudan remains a basket-case, thus ensuring their continued, luxury existence. This is a nightmare scenario with a high probably of turning out to be true. Let's wait-and-see.

Deal With Tribal Issues.

Western journos covering Africa often fail to see the underlying ethnic squabbles that are at the root of so many of our problems. Some African intellectuals also deliberately omit ethnic issues from their analyses, for reasons of not wanting to be seen as "backward" or even "barbaric". Well, we're African, & we're the ones who must sort out our own affairs, and so waving away acute, pertinent issues of ethnicity, tribe, clan, totem and language just won't do. These issues must be tackled head on. If they're not acknowledged and tackled head-on, they have a tendency -- like vipers -- to turn around and bite us in the rear end. Kenya's post-election violence of '08 is a prime example of festering, tribal problems that were left unattended to and then erupted into anarchy at a crucial moment in Africa's democratic journey. We Africans must not be blind to our own realities. We must strive to sort out our own mess.