Sunday, May 31, 2009

French Sniffing Around in Zimbabwe

Zut alors! What brings the French to our neck of the woods? They are not coming to sample the sorghum beer (chibuku) or the grilled trotters (mazondo). On May 30 the Zimbabwean portal ( reported that French State Minister, Anne-Marie Idrac, had paid a visit to Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai and had invited him over to Paris next month. Unbeknown to most African leaders, being invited to the Elysee Palace is like being invited to Dracula's Palace: You are being invited there for a reason - a very sinister reason.

Here's the reason why the French suddenly have an interest in Zimbabwe. In the South-East of Zimbabwe lies a small district called Bikita. Bikita has the world's second-largest (known) reserves of lithium, after Bolivia. The car industry is striving to replace the internal-combustion engine with a battery-powered engine, and yes, lithium is a key part of battery technology. French entrepreneur, Vincent Bollore, has even begun to manufacture a small, battery-powered automobile. Which brings us back to Zimbabwe. All governments in the West are now keen to develop better ties with Zimbabwe since - in the future - whoever controls the battery technology and the resources will automatically control the automobile industry.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sacrebleu! Mon Dieu!

As we speak, the French are investigating the financial dealings of Presidents Obiang Nguema (of Equatorial Guinea), Dennis Sassou-Nguesso (of the Republic of Congo) , and Omar Bongo (of Gabon). As you know the last two were the poster boys of "France-Afrique", a shadowy network of French interests in Africa and their African lackeys on the ground. Now the French authorities are being disingenuous to a maximum degree. The only reason that the French are now investigating these shady characters is that Messrs Bongo, Nguema and Sassou-Nguesso have realised that ill-gotten wealth must be spread around - like manure. In other words you can't keep all your ill-gotten wealth in one French basket. The money must be spread around between Paris, London, New York, Dubai and Kuala Lumpur. Now this is what has gotten the French ticked off!

Why did the French forcibly replace Pascal Lissouba (the Previous President) with "their man", Dennis Sassou-Nguesso? Because President Lissouba had started leaning towards the Americans and - heaven forbid - the British. He had given key contracts in Congo's mineral sector to American companies. So the French saw to it that President Lissouba was replaced. But President Sassou-Nguesso has now started rewarding contracts to American and Chinese companies. You see, even French slaves know not to deal exclusively with the French, whose duplicity and avarice in Africa is legendary.

The biggest French boot-licker of them all, Omar Bongo, now keeps most of his money in America - he prefers CitiBank. Adding to the French misery is the fact that Obiang Nguema, whom they had been grooming in the boot-licking business, is now doing a lot of business with the Americans and the Chinese. Sacrebleu! Mon Dieu! What's a French bureaucrat to do! That brings us to all the hullabaloo about the secret finances of African leaders that are being investigated by President Sarkozy's government.

No, President Sarkozy, Africa is not some play-thing, some mistress, that you can discard whenever you so please. We Africans will deal with our corrupt leaders in our own way; and then we will take over control of our economies; and then we will send those boot-licking African leaders out to pasture. Having done that we will re-direct African economies towards intra-African trade, and proceed to have zero tolerance towards French shenanigans on the French continent.

Thank you.