Whither The English Weather

When two Africans meet the talk invariably gets to African politics; when two strangers meet in England the conversation-starter is always the weather. With the Olympics only a few hours away I have to admit that -- like most folks -- I'm intensely worried about the English weather. Will  it rain incessantly throughout the duration of the Olympics? Will the beach-volleyball players compete in driving rain? After all, last month was England's wettest June on record. It rained non-stop throughout the whole month, disrupting the tennis at Wimbledon and the F1 racing at Silverstone.

You see no-one has ever made two-and-two of the English weather; it's neither here nor there. One minute it's sunny, the next it's grey and overcast. As for the English weather forecasters: forget about them, for they're about as useful as the economic statistics from Papua New Guinea!

I even have a pet-theory that the Pilgrim Fathers who left England for the New World in 1620 did so not for religious freedom, but rather to escape from the dreary English weather. They just couldn't take it anymore! Rather than be driven insane by the cold, grey, dreary English weather, they decided to save themselves by seeking out more pleasant surroundings to live in. And they found it, here in the good 'ol U.S of A.

Nigeria, Where Art Thou?

As I watched the tragic destruction of centuries-old African tombs in Mali by religious fanatics from the Maghreb, I could not but think of  Nigeria. Yes, you heard me right, Nigeria. If Nigeria was truly the "Giant of Africa" with an economy of, say, $600Bilion to match its population of 162 million, no rag-tag army of religious zealots from Algeria, Mauritania & Pakistan would have dared smash there way into an African country and abused its population and heritage.

It's because Nigeria lays comatose under the directionless leadership of (the fantastically misnamed) President Goodluck Jonathan, that the ancient heritage of Mali and Black Africa is being abused by barbaric nomads from afar. Let us not forget that Black Africa too has produced its fair share of barbarians. But these barbarians were swiftly dealt with by the Nigerian authorities. In Sierra Leone, the villainous R.U.F rebel movement was wont to chop the hands off innocent civilians until the Nigerian military intervened (in the 90s) to make the peace. The Nigerian military intervened too in Liberia (90s) after the civil war there got out of hand.

Of-course Nigerian intellectuals would say (in their defence) that they have too many problems at home to worry about the problems in Mali. But, it must be stated that the domestic problems in Nigeria are all the symptoms of the dysfunction of the Nigerian political elite. Had Nigeria developed economically and socially as it should have, we never would have heard of the Boko Haram in Northern Nigeria. 

In the same vein, as I've stated above, a prosperous Nigeria would have never tolerated the rape of Black-Africa's heritage by nomadic barbarians from afar. It's time for the Nigerian "ship" to be put back on the proper course of economic and social development. Where goes Nigeria so goes the rest of Black Africa.

Zimbabwe: Travel Sanctions Must Stay

I have been reading that the E.U is considering dropping all sanctions against the Govt of President Mugabe and I welcome this positive development. But having said that, I wish to state categorically that only trade sanctions should be removed; the travel sanctions against leading members of Robert Mugabe's Govt must remain firmly in place. Here's the reason why.

After Kenyans, the most Anglophile folks on the planet just might be my fellow Zimbabweans. Anglophilia runs amok in my beloved Zimbabwe, to almost comical proportions. Were all sanctions to be lifted, all functions of the State would come to a screeching halt, as all Govt functionaries would hop on the first plane out to London.

There literally would be no Govt Ministers, Permanent Secretaries & senior bureaucrats left in Harare to carry out the affairs of the National Govt. Bond Street & Oxford Street in London would be teeming with Zimbabwean bureaucrats, elbowing Arab-Shieks and Russian Oligarchs out of the way. The food-court at Harrods would be emptied out as our Zimbabwean bureaucrats gorged themselves silly with exotic-food.

As I've just colourfully explained above, Zimbabweans are besotted with all things British and so, for the benefit of our National Exchequer and our essential governing functions, it's important that the Travel Sanctions Stay Firmly In Place. 

Anita Baker: Black Don't Crack!

My suggestive heading above alludes to the ageless beauty of Black women. The 80s soul-singer, Anita Baker, is still as beautiful as she was twenty years ago. Her voice is as angelic as ever. Last Sunday (24th of June) I happen to have attended a concert at the Stern Grove musical festival with Anita Baker as the main draw. Boy, oh boy, did she not disappoint!


Let me tell any reader that I've been to many concerts given by 80s musicians, where I wish I could have had my money back. Some of the musicians looked 'beaten down" by life, whilst others were simply studio musicians who could not deliver on the live stage. But not Anita! She started off with "Same 'Ole Love" and then proceeded to "Good Love" and "Angel" and by the time she belted out "Watch Your Step" she had the crowd mesmerized and begging for more!

There's no better feeling on this Earth than listening to a musician pouring out her soul, as she belts out a classic tune from days gone by. This is what life is all about, and not the proverbial bills/rat-race fandango that most people get caught up in. Once again, Anita Baker: I salute thee, oh beautiful one with the angelic voice. You made my day, and brought back sweet memories.

Portugal's Great Football Teams

I always love to watch Portugal's football team in action; they're my default team at any major championships. Part of the reason is that the Portuguese -- for all their faults in the colonial era -- have steadfastly featured African players on their squads for over fifty years now. They and the French teams are always the "African" teams at any European championships. 

In the picture below is the is the great (Mozambican-born) captain of the Portuguese squad from the 60s, Mario Coluna, and further below him is another Mozambican-born star from the 60s, and probably Portugal's' greatest ever player.....the incomparable Eusebio.






















 

The African and Latin flavor of the Portuguese team always make them a joy to watch, and I particularly like the present team spearheaded by Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo. But, in no way, is this team the best Portugal has ever fielded. Let's go back to 1984 to the great team that featured Joao Pinto in defence and the Angolan-born Jordao in attack. They (pictured below) played some marvelous football, but were unable to stop the Michel Platini-led French team winning the tournament.





Having said that, all football pundits agree that Portugal's greatest ever crop of footballers was the so-called "golden generation" that featured Luis Figo, Rui Costa, Fernando Couto, and Vitor Baia (the team is pictured below). As juniors, this team won the FIFA U20 World Championships in '91 and coalesced as a group, finally peaking at the Euro 2000 Championships. 

For all their firepower, they never actually won any championships (after their success in '91), but boy were they a sight to behold: the wing-play of Luis Figo; the crafty midfield-play of Rui Costa; and the clean-hands in goal of Vitor Baia. I rank this team in the top five teams ever to grace a football-field, up there with the Dutch teams of the 70s and the great 1970 Brazilian team of Pele, Tostao and Revelinho. This truly was a golden generation of football players.

Didier Drogba's Ridiculous Hairstyle

I don't usually blog about fashion or hairstyles, but I had to put this one out for one of my pet-peeves. This peeve is to do with Didier Drogba's contemptuous and out-dated "straight-perm" hairstyle. For how long is he going to stick with a hairstyle that went out of fashion circa 1992? It's totally unbecoming for a public-figure of his stature to be sporting such a ridiculous hairstyle in this day and age.

Let me digress a little here, and confess that I too once sported a "soft-perm" in my youth. Going to Harare clubs like Rumours, Bretts and Archipelagos, I had to follow the fashionable trends of my suburban peers and get my hair done like everyone else. But that was in 1989 when perming one's hair was all the rage. Though, I must admit that keeping one's hair greased was a hellish, financial burden. Finding the money to buy hair-food (like "TCB" and "Kubi") was a job in itself. In fact, some of my (poorer) peers took to applying cooking-oil to keep the grease in their perms !

Now, back to Drogba. I have even thought of  putting out an on-line petition to get him to clean up his act and sport a more dignified look. A married man of 34 should not -- and maybe, should not be allowed to -- sport a ridiculous hairstyle that went out of fashion about 20 years ago. How would people feel if some public-figure started to go around in bell-bottoms and platform-shoes (see below) from 35 years ago? Think about it.

The British Aristocracy & Zimbabwe

On the eve of our 32nd independence anniversary, I would like to point out to readers some keen links between my beloved nation of Zimbabwe and card-carrying members of Britain's aristocracy.

In the picture above are, from left to right: Robert Mugabe, Lord Soames and Prince Charles. Lord Soames, the heavy-set and jovial figure in the middle of the picture, was the last Governor-General of Southern Rhodesia, serving from Dec 1979 to April 1980. Prince Charles had arrived in Zimbabwe just prior to independence in 1980 to represent the British Govt at the Independence ceremony.

Now, although Prince Charles was already involved in a relationship with Lady Diana Spencer (his future wife), his official hostess/consort to the Independence ceremony was Camilla Parker-Bowles, an old girlfriend with whom he had kept up a relationship & who he would marry years later. Here she is pictured below (in a much younger-looking photo).

But Camilla Parker-Bowles was already married to one Colonel Andrew Parker-Bowles, who just happened to be stationed in Zimbabwe as the senior military liaison officer to Lord Soames . And below is a picture from late 1979 of Colonel Andrew Parker-Bowles (on the left) and the Zanla Commander, Rex Nhongo (in the middle of the picture, dressed in military fatigues).

If this all sounds too strange to be true, just bear in  mind that the British aristocracy are known for their complicated romantic entanglements, as well as for their love of all things African. This genuine love is reciprocated by African leaders like President Robert Mugabe and President Jacob Zuma who are famed for their Anglophilia (and indeed, for their own complicated romantic entanglements).